Will the stress ever stop??????????

So this week started out real sucky. Let's start with last Friday...My first day back to my job since handing in my resignation on Monday. That is right, I handed it in and took another job working in a Nursing Home. Something I swore I would never do. I after all want to help deliver babies! Never say never, I guess. I just never really wanted my career to head in that direction, but I am sick of the pettiness and backstabbing that goes on at my small hometown hospital. Plus, the pay is 5 more dollars per hour...Who can resist? So I had a pretty good day at work working with two of the nurses that I actually like. I called in on Saturday because I had to take the baby to the doctor for a infected bug bite. I had been up with her the two nights before, so something had to give. Later that day, I developed a migraine and it took imitrex, 800mg of Ibuprofen and a Phenergan to put me down. My husband called in for me on Sunday because I was so sick. I suffer from migraines, but only once a month. Since starting on imitrex, they have decreased and usually don't proceed, but I have been under so much stress lately it was time for one that actually kicked my ass, and it did. At 7:30 in the morning, I got a call from my cousin that her daughter had found her father dead. I was devastated and in a surreal state, but she called me back and I was able to calm her so I went back to sleep until almost 1 o'clock Sunday afternoon. I am sure my body needed this rest but it was also drug-induced from the migraine. So on Monday, I started my new job. It is a 45 minute drive, into Nashville, our big city. I get there and team up with this guy to learn the ropes. We started passing meds to the residents at 7:05 and did not stop until 12:15....NOT A BREAK, A SIP OF WATER, OR ANYTHING!! Now, as a nurse, I am used to running up and down halls, but I am also used to my 15 minute break in the morning and afternoon! So...he finally says I can go to lunch at 12:15 and I honestly thought about not coming back...it was that bad. I made a crappy choice at lunch and stopped at the nearest place, Krystal. I could actually eat them! That is when I realized I could resume eating bread. I ended up going back, but the afternoon was quite the same and I left feeling like I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. I left and stopped at Starbucks and Krispy Kreme on my way home. I ate two doughnuts and a caramel frappucino. I knew I was eating for emotions, but I had no control. I went home and my hubby rubbed my aching legs for two hours. On Tuesday, I felt like I was hung over. My body ached and I had a headache. I skipped my first class and went shopping for shoes to the tune of $138 and insoles and support hose etc. I would not be defeated! In amongst this entire spending spree, I should have been studying for my test in Western Civilization that I failed later that day. I didn't care I just wanted to get home. I had to work again Wednesday and I wanted to be prepared. We went to my friend's daughter's birthday and went bowling and that was a ton of fun that night. Tuesday was a entire day of bad food choices. I had a chik fil a chicken sandwhich and never pb'd once! I also ate pizza at the birthday as well as cake! I needed that fill, after all. Bread was beginning to be entirely too easy. I got up Wednesday and gave it my best shot. I went in and had my protein shake on the way in,and then carried my bottle of protein water to hand out my meds. It was still awful, but we were through passing them at 10:15. We actually had a morning break where I ate string cheese for a snack. At lunch I had my healthy choice meal. The afternoon sucked, but my back did not hurt as bad. My legs, still hurt even with the new shoes, insoles and support hose. They throbbed all the way home. My husband bought mexican, but I ate mainly the chicken and very few chips. I was still full from the protein. He rubbed my legs again for two hours, this time with lotion. I still woke up this morning feeling like I had a hang over and went to school feeling shitty. I made it through my classes eating all protein today and when I got home, I called a family meeting to discuss my current stress level. I started a new system on advice from my girlfriend, on how to get the kids to do more around the house because at this point in my life, I feel like I am losing control. The kids now have to pull a card if I have any trouble from them doing what they are told from now on. So far tonight, it has worked. Their rooms are spotless and they are in bed. I am going to talk to my husband when I get done with this blog, and explain to him what I need from him too, after I watch Gray's Anatomy. Tommorow is my last day at the hospital and I am hoping I can make healthy choices as well. And as for the baby's mama. Well she got 11/29 in the pen but then got a suspended sentence. She is out walking freely on probation. She already has a new myspace and I am sure at this moment, trying to find my profile. I switched my name that you search me under. It is only a matter of time until her threats will start up again. Last I heard, she was going to take classes and get the baby back...We'll see....Until next time, so stressed my hair is coming out....K