A little rant....

My past week has been full of pb-ing episode after episode. I am starting to get very discouraged as far as this whole experience goes. Last Sunday, I got called off from work. We decided that we would spend the day together and took the kids to O'Charley's. Because I can not stomach salad, I decided to order a sandwich. I took one bite and spent the next thirty minutes pb-ing in the bathroom. I am not sure what to even think of the "pb-ing" As a nurse, I am quite complexed as to how the food doesn't come back but the slime does? It confuses the heck out of me. Needless to say, I came back and didn't eat anything else except the meat off of my sandwich. I can not figure out what I am doing wrong. So far, I can not eat anything of any substance without being terribly uncomfortable. I have pb-ed at least three other times this week, but have not had anything come back up. And the sensation you get when something gets stuck...cold, clammy, like you are fixing to pass out. I can't stand it. I have eaten a lot of cheese sticks, it is about the only thing that will stay with me. I am talking about the string cheese that you get at the store. I am hoping it is a good source of protein. Last night, I finally broke the seal and went and worked out. Before I did so, I got on the scale and there it was again. NO WEIGHT LOSS. And I haven't even been eating! I am finding myself real close to saying the hell with it and having the band removed. To me it has been both a physical torture as well as a emotional torture to not be able to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. I know I didn't get this way overnight, but I am damn tired of not seeing the scale move...Maybe the exercise will make a difference....Until next time, still asking myself WHY?

My First Fill-Up

I went to the doctor's office today and had my first fill. I was not sure what to expect and after the nurse weighed me in....(I am still at 20 lbs, btw) she led me to the room and I started to sweat. After about 10 minutes, the docotor came ain and made me lie back. he numbed up the skin which felt nothing more than a bee sting and then he began to fill me. After a couple of seconds he asked that I sit up (while he still had the needle in the port) and he had me drink a glass of water. I did and he left me at 4.2 cc. I did not burp, vomit up in my mouth, pb or anything like that. After that I was all done and I headed home. PAINLESS and FANTASTIC. I got the go ahead to exercise and he told me that everything looked great! I have a appointment in 3 weeks for another fill. Until then it is three days of liquids and softs on Thursday. Until then...living on water and wine....

Catching up the Blog....

So we went on vacation and had a wonderful time. While there, I ate pretty much "normal" foods. I was totally expecting a huge weight gain because I had only indulged like that here and there. I came home and weighed and I was still at the same weight I was before I left. So I have managed for a month to keep that weight off. After we were home for one day, it was time for our luau that we have for the girls birthdays each year. We get a roasted pig and the whole shabang. It was a lot of fun. I worked on that Sunday, and then Monday was supposed to be my first fill appt. I had to reschedule because the baby was sick, so I will go for my first fill tomorrow. I don't know what to expect, but I am totally excited to finally be getting it cranked down so that I don't eat as much. Right now I am eating less than half of what I used to be able to put away. I went to a store last night to get a shirt and was down a entire shirt size, so as I said before, I am showing definite improvements. Still no exercise have I done. One, because I loathe it, Two, because I don't have time between cheer leading, soccer, work and school and Three, because I never have a sitter. All of these are just excuses, I know, but I have got to get started with it this week, otherwise, I will not achieve ANY of my goals and I am a very goal-oriented person. Other than fitting into a smaller size shirt, no drastic changes to tell you about, But I will definitely keep you posted. My life is pretty monotonous on a daily basis so I try not to bore you with the small details. Until next time, I can't wait to fit into a shirt off the rack of a regular store....

I Got TAGGED!

I was tagged on 8-4-07 but we have been on vacation, so I am just now catching my blog up.

Here are the rules:
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4. At the end of your blog you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged and that they should read your blog.
5. 8 is a magic number. Not three.

Eight Obscure Things About Me:

1. I have been overweight since the 9th grade (read 1st blog) Because my parents were so non-active in my life, I figured out the only way I would ever make it through high school was to become a ass-kicker (bully) I wasn't the type of bully to take your lunch money, but I was the girl everyone called to fight their fights for them. My senior year, I failed Marketing by two points. My principal called me into the office and told me she was giving me the two points, because she didn't want me in her school again the next year. Ouch that hurts! Unfortunate for her, I received a page the following year (after I had graduated and started college) for a girl who wanted me to come and walk her to class because she was scared of being beat up...I ended up going and doing it and then I stopped in to say hello to my principal...he he

2. I love musicals, especially ones starring Judy Garland. My grandmother got me hooked when I moved in with her when I was 17. I collected quite a few and every year I make my children sit and watch Easter Parade, I figure if I have to watch High School Musical daily, then they can pacify me once a year. Secretly both them and my husband like it.

3. I am a social smoker. I can pick them up and put them down. It doesn't bother me.

4. My nickname, given to me by my sister when they could not say Keyana was "Kaka" it means shit in Spanish and I am still called that quite often. My youngest sister, Cori, has now started calling me "Doo" as I do her, we got that from the movie Coal Miner's Daughter...Another Fave of ours.

5. I have three biological children and our fourth child, Melanie Mojo, (we shortened it to Lanie) was left with me by a childhood friend when she was 8 weeks old. She is almost two and we have had her every since. The mother found me on myspace, (she is on crack) and asked me if her grandfather was dead? Nothing about her child. she also asked if we were still friends? Well, I left my myspace public and she stole one of the pictures and then changed her name above the picture to HER NAME IS MOJO! and then her headline read "and I'm her mother you fat bitch, and what's with all your fat friends?" I don't know what caused this outburst, except that I had changed my profile back to private so she could no longer steal the pictures of her, after all when we got the baby, there was a open investigation because the child had a bedsore on her head and was being medicated with Tylenol and Benadryl so she would sleep! Needless to say, she chose crack over her child and what about the other 5 children? She has nothing to do with them nor has custody of them either. But you want to call yourself her mother??? BTW, I LOVE it when people attack my weight, I have been called fat for 17 years...it does not affect me...I thought about changing my headline to "you like crack, we like food" but I have decided to just get a lawyer instead...

6. I shoot straight from the hip and if you want my opinion on something, I will give it, I expect the same in return.

7. I have psoriasis of the scalp, ears and sometimes of the face. I use alcohol on my ears, special shampoo on my scalp, and cream on my face.

8. I am a myspace addict. I love the thought of being able to find friends, family and lost loved ones on there. Not to worry, I have begun the 12 step program.

I would tag 8 people, in fact, I just had their names written down, but I just threw that piece of paper in the shredder box, and I don't remember who I chose! Oh well, the whole ring is tagged,(if you haven't been tagged already) there you go.

Back to Normal...I Think!

Well, it has been 18 days since my surgery and this week has been a big turning point. I was able to work my 5 days in a row and still felt human the day after my 60 hour stretch. My incisions are healing well, and the down side is that my appetite has returned completely. Well, I won't say completely, but I can certainly hold more than a half a cup and my mind has started focusing more on food, and I find myself wanting to snack to stay fulfilled. With that, I have only been able to maintain the 19 lb. weight loss and that really bothers me. I am glad that I am back to being able to keep up with my children and my hectic schedule. We leave tonight for our vacation to Destin, Fl. I have family there so I try to go twice a year. I was fortunate to go in May, and I am now returning with the entire crew for a 4 day vacation. I did not buy any new clothes to wear because I am now able to fit in all of my old ones, including a pair of TH capri jeans. That is one upside to the weight loss and I can see a definite improvement in that area. I am eager for my first fill on August 13th, as I don't like the thought of wanting to eat more than my half cup proportions. I will also be cleared for exercise on that day. I probably could now, but with my history of MRSA with my last surgery, I have not wanted to even remotely sweat and get bacteria growing in a place where it does not need too. All in all, everything is going much better but if you still asked me if it was worth it, sadly my answer would be no. I am hoping that this attitude will wear off. I just hate the thought of ANY type of elective surgery at this point. I am going to try and go read some of the other blogs now and catch up with all the happenings...so until next time....Gulf Breeze Wishes!